Nobody is perfect that is why understanding is so important.

Relationship gives meaning to life and search for desires in relationship keeps the life going. In this journey many relationship get dropped at the middle and many travel till the end of road. The one which we carry by tolerating may be a duty or is still left with some steam at the edges. But the ones which titillate our soul even in the darkest of hours, brings only smile or tears of happiness. These are definitely the special ones, which we miss so much again and again. Why in sum total of our relationship, we still find these wonderful ones visible as the beacon from any corner, is the mystery which we all need to unfold.

I need not search the mystery elsewhere but penetrate deep into our bonding as it is not as sweet as it appears to be now. We too have been through an extremely rough weather which reflected the harsh flavours in its nastiest form but what kept our relationship going was the weaving done with elegance whenever there was deep hole penetrated into our mattress. Mending the fabric could not have been one sided as the clap from both our hands were so loud and clear when we exchange sometime the needle and sometime the twine.

What infuses the stamina in a relationship is not that one has to utter ‘YES’ all the time but can afford to say loudly ‘NO’ with a harsh voice, but the conditions applies to the pitch of throat and the stillness of a heart. The cry may reach peak decibel but a silent pamper of heart continues to sing melody cajoling the spirit of one we love. When ego surrenders amidst loud noise, respecting each other’s personal space comes to fore reminding that understanding is not about acceptance but agreeing to disagree is the bottom-line.

Relationships are not about seeing our own self in others but respecting that the opposite is unique and different. What turns a relation sordid and sour is that bit of over enthusiasm which gives the flavour of victory over our perceptible defeat. Defeat is not about scoring a point but trampling a heart which shows no mercy about the imperfection which I am deeply embedded with. If the imperfection is what you will grind against my own soul then how can you ever appreciate of what I am as I am full of these imperfections which make me, ME.

Freedom from any probable hurt is what makes a relationship very protective, it is not the seamless selfishness but the understanding that no one has right hurt a beautiful soul who is the beloved. When we have never eyed for anybody’s approval of our relationship then little scope is left for any person to throw stones of what we are. It is not that the penetrating stones will bleed you but the fountain of blood which will release as I am ever gonna be shield to you. This is what will make you wreath in pain as you’re my wound is not left to me but pierce equally through your body. Understanding becomes imperative in guarding the loved ones as shield which can replace smiles and laughter with pain and despair.

Understanding was never about fishing in troubled waters but to hold me when I fall despite the path I chose contrary to your belief. Every act of disgust in me was breathed with stories and song of life only to divert me of my anguish till the darkness was all about to see the daylight. It never mattered about the cold floors but the warmth of your hands encircled and loud beat of your heart upon which I spent my cushiony night from dusk to dawn. Radiance was all over when my eyes opened and the silhouettes of an angel blocking the bright light made the mind run backwards of what held me all night during the darkest hours. Reminiscing every moment of yesterdays despair and how a tired soul was nourished instantly froze the tears rolling down my cheeks, the broad meaning of understanding was blended in me of not what you said but what was always unsaid.

The philosophy that “nobody is perfect that is why understanding is needed” got blended in my blood running all over my body. We both being so different but still being so similar is what I realised. It also faded the victory/defeat, loss/gain and yours/mine. This dissolving of thy selves at the end of journey is what understanding is all about as semblance of all tests.

My life experience circumvents around you and is sucked in inside your soul. All my expression about the experiential reality is written from that seat of cajole and comfort rising from your soul. Feel blessed of this merging where you is still you and me is still me and yet we both are one and the UNITY.

What makes life Beautiful?

Dear Shuchira

               

The journey to Chittoor was around 360 KM but it threw a great glimpse on life for me for being happy. I had wonderful time addressing what you want from life. On the contrary it was a great learning to me what life all about is. Being at such a tender age you are sharing the experience from someone who is older, is definitely an advantage because I did not encounter such experience in my life when I was young.

Though I have shared what sort of career you may choose for yourself by seeing a larger picture. But the reality is that you must listen to everyone (parents, friends, teacher and me) but take the conscious decision which pleases you and YOURSELF, with a commitment that you are the person who will take all the FRUITS and THORNS of your choice and never blame others for your failure. That is the simple TRUTH.

Dear, your encounter has compelled me to write what we should equip our lives with so that we can all live a very happy life. This is exactly in response to what I asked “what is the most important thing in life?” Your answer to this query was “MONEY”. Your instinctive response made me to search all the things which are very important which money can’t buy but still it is very important to lead an absolute quality life. I am addressing now the core question of money and all other things which I feel is important.

Myth of MONEY: Money is necessary and important as it helps in excluding physical pain which one would have experienced. Money can assure us good food, shelter and clothing and all the material things which one can dream of. But the quality of life which we have led till date will definitely assure us that we will get enough monies to live life with any problems, whatever job or occupation we will choose in future. So money will never be the factor which will make life interesting. What can make life interesting are:

   

    FRIENDS:  What is great in having wealth when we do not have someone to share with? This is why we need friends. The family is the first group of friends who will stand beside us till we breathe last. But we need to have friends from all walks and shades of life. The list of friends should go beyond the boundaries of STATE and NATION. Life really becomes very interesting with having great friends to interact with.

  READING BOOKS: If we give white sheets and offer anyone to write about anything worthwhile and interesting. Then we will find that majority will not be able to write beyond few pages. Which means that the entire life of a person is reduced no even too few pages. The present era has severe addiction to TV, mobile phone, internet and I-PAD which is acquiring more junk than wisdom. These modern mediums will throw information which is not necessary and much time as logical sequence is spent on reading unwanted information connected to one useless information to the other. The final outcome is more JUNK and less USEFUL INFORMATION. The better alternative to all this is READING BOOKS because of following reason:

o   We can read experiences of thousands of life in one life.

o   We can choose the subject what we like and explore new subject what we know little about.

o   Books are great companion in solitude as we will have rarely little time to KILL.

        COOKING: If one knows cooking then one is totally independent. Baking must be an additive skill to regular cooking. Cooking is a great stress buster but at the root it teaches

o   Simplicity, Humbleness, Love and Affection: food is all about sharing and no one can pass this milestone if we do not have humility within us.

o   Hygiene: The foundation to cooking is cleanliness.

o   Patience: Every recipe has its standard time and there is no shortcut to it. Imbibing a reality that timing has always been the essence of cooking because there is only a little difference between the most amazing food and the bad food. Not leaving the stove till the entire dish is prepared will give no choice but to develop patience.

o   Appreciating hard labour: Everyone start loving their mother the moment one learns cooking. Making the same size of chapatti or any dish continuously for years without incentive in return is the hallmark of SELFLESS HARD LABOUR. Before throwing the food to dustbin one will imbibe the value behind the hard labour which has gone behind the food.

        TIME with OURSELF: It would be surprising that when we dial our own number the dial tone is always engaged. This shows that we have all the time for everything except for ourselves. The moment we get up we must spend at least ten minutes with closed eyes with a prayer to almighty for having given you a chance for one more day to live. Decide what we gonna do with the whole day ahead with us.

o   Playing: Acquiring slowly all the major sporting skill will enable us to daily spend quality time for our physical fitness by rotating different sport without ever getting burnt out. The most beautiful thing we learn from sport is that there is always a LOSER and a WINNER and rarely there are games ending in TIE. This experience becomes so important in our daily lives.

o   Dancing: Dancing not only alleviates you out of stress but gives you a tremendous confidence of NO SHAME. This aspect enable us to imbibe that one can dance anywhere without ever bothering about the surrounding with any semblance of fear. Having this attitude gives always the mood of life in celebration mode.

        GARDENING: Seeing a beautiful garden at the backyard when we wake up is a wonderful feeling. The healthy garden at the backyard teaches so many lessons in real lives. Gardening is nothing but nurturing pets, knowing who is weak and how to make them strong. Variety is what makes garden beautiful. So it is very mush possible to keep everyone together adding to only happiness. Every plant has unique way of expressing. By seeing ones garden we would be able to experience the nature of a person.

        TRAVELLING: Every year one has to give a long break in at least two spells which must be spent in visiting those places which one has not seen before. Travelling will develop an attitude that we can start our life from any place at anytime. This spirit is fundamental in healthy living.

       CAMERA: Memories accumulate slowly and always catches us over a period of time. A retro to these memories if it is accompanied with good photographs then it gives a large pool of amazing picture which one can pursue as a hobby slowly developing into a career.

Dear Shuchira the article is only a precursor to healthy life which I have written for you. Please ask any doubts you have while reading this material because this may serve as guide to so many young people who are seeking answers to so many questions on life.

Warm Regards

Your Uncle

Hari Rao

My shoe – It’s my choice?

My shoe – It’s my choice

I was walking very happily with the new shoe which I chose all by myself after the frantic search in the store for a while. The flash came and I saw all my life that what I did and silently accepted all the small dreams which were never mine. I saw my dreams slowly slipping away as I always had a choice to choose between the two and forcibly accepted what was not mine. The first one I vividly remember was that I liked a colorful shoe as the color appealed to me and it comforted me too when I wore it. But my mother gave me much expensive jazzy one, thinking that the one I chose was too cheap and I deserved the best. I grew and the same story went on with all the choices which were decided on my life by others, than what I had to do myself.

One day while I was passing by the shoe store, the salesman by his talks literally pulled me inside with the fantasy to sell me a shoe that I was never intending to buy at all. Since he psyched me so much I did the same thing what I did all along my life. After reaching home I wore the shoe and earned lot of appreciation from everyone - but no one understood my discomfort. The shoe indeed caused me blisters beneath my feet and gave me nothing but pain. I reached home and went to the terrace and it was already six in the evening. Sitting alone I felt that how much unwanted pain I was going through by wearing the shoe which I never needed. The silence from within spoke so much that I rushed back to my room and after a changeover I left for the shoe stall. I saw the same salesman briefing me with a flashy new arrival. This time I just said “you please attend to the other customer while I walk around your store.”

After gazing through the display I called the salesman to show me what all I had selected. After a few trials I was not tired but suddenly I saw the seventh one and I liked the colour which reminded me of my childhood. When I wore it I was spellbound as it was a perfect fit as it matched my senses. When the same was billed to me I was surprised as it was very inexpensive too. Then I was walking very happily with the new shoe which I chose all by myself after the frantic search in the store for a while.

While walking back home I realised that everyone has got a shoe of their choice. It requires only a small search alone, or with the others help, to find the right one which suits everyone. In retrospect, I found that it was not only the shoe alone, in my LIFE but many things with which I had created a relationship. After reaching home I replaced the old shoe with the new one on the rack with a smile.

Right from the time we are born till we die we create a relationship with all the animate and inanimate objects which are physical and mental. Every frame of our life is nothing but a relationship and only a relationship. If we alone choose the right to select a relationship then we will always be happy from within as we would live the relationship of our desire. The salesman in our lives can’t be ignored as they are none other than our relationship which exists in the form of Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Husband, Wife, Friends, Son, Daughter and so on. Whatever the salesman may say, it;s you who must make the final choice to wear a comfortable shoe.

Wanna be happy? Remove the Garbage within.

KEEP THE DRAINAGE CLEAN

Every being seeks every moment to be only HAPPY and nothing else. If this is what the ultimate truth is then what are we all seeking for and where? We seek HAPPINESS in LIFE only in a relationship. Let’s understand what life is all about.

Life is an experience born out of relationship. Right from the point we take the first and last breath we enter, sustain and exit only in a relationship. The relationship which we enter and exit is with animate matter which has life and the inanimate matter which doesn’t have life. By this dictum, while the passage of life we first enter into relationship with our own body then with the clothes we wear, food we eat, shelter we live, the people we meet, things which we use… It’s not only that the relationships are limited to the things which we can tangibly experience but also beyond. Relating with the intangible things like GOD, thoughts and feelings are the experience which we can’t see but are the pure phenomena connected with the basic energy which we all call as soul.

Every relationship is a wonderful aspect as long as it is free from problems. Therefore we need to understand why the problem arises in any relationship? This is what I have attempted to explain below in the concept of drainage.

“Why does drainage overflow?

What happens if the issue is not addressed sooner or later?

How to fix the problem of choked drainage?”

You must be wondering

“Why this stupid question is being asked at all when the answer is so simple?

How is it connected to our life at this juncture?

At this juncture I still ask you the same question and then request you to just look at a CHILD and then look yourself in a mirror too.

What do you find?

You will find that the child is just a vibrant energy whose energy is akin to an ever blooming flower whereas the energy level in us is much lower than what is in a child.

If we were the same child from whom we have transformed into an adult then where did we leave our vibrant energy which is making us a flower with lesser life than what we were when we were a child? The answer simply lies in the concept of drainage.

Drainage overflows whenever it gets choked due to blockage caused by some garbage. Whenever the drainage gets choked we need to remove the blocked garbage or dissolve the garbage for the smooth flow. If the choked drainage is not cleared then sooner or later the surrounding starts stinking and the place becomes inhabitable. An honest cry, laughter and scolding in one’s relationship with the other is very essential to keep the drainage clean in one’s own body and mind.

Our life has got so conditioned in an adult that it refuses to respond to its natural behaviour. Every conditioned behaviour contrary to natural behaviour creates a small heap of garbage which gets collected in mind and in turn manifests in a body. Systematic collection of this garbage in our mind over a period of time will make our drainage choked. Let us see how it operates?

If one wants to genuinely cry then some of the responses are: Why the hell you are crying? You are neither a girl nor a child…?

If one wants to genuinely laugh then some of the responses are: Stop laughing people will think you are mad. Have you gone mad?...

If one discovers that one is harming us at the back, we may due to our own selfish interests pretend and act quite opposite. “Boss you are great and you have been very helpful” instead the inner response while saying the praise was “Rascal and wretched soul, you need be slapped publicly”

Every act of living contrary to one’s own self would systematically collect garbage inside the mind of an adult which is never there in a child. That’s why generally an adult does not look like a full bloomed flower like a child. A child by living its natural behaviour never allows the garbage to be collected for long but brings it out as soon as possible.

Every CHILD is vibrant energy over an ADULT as its DRAINAGE is always CLEAN.