MY GOD IS IMPERFECT

 

Joy ran to his mother with report card with great enthusiasm, the moment Lisa opened the report card, hell broke loose for Joy as the first reaction of mother was “Joy I am not happy, you just see Suresh topped the class with 95% while you are jumping happily with 78%, check with & learn from Suresh. Now Joy instead of being happy was sad. Abhiram, a cousin of my friend was in conversation with me “ Anna I want to follow the footsteps of Pavan Anna, as I am very inspired from him.” Initially it sounded very natural for me but later my reaction towards Abhiram became harsh & I replied

“Abhi Tammudu 

 

I am sorry you seem to have misunderstood me.

 

It’s natural to like & get influenced by  ideologies & follow people but what I meant was that  by doing it blindly we will lose our natural strength what makes Abhiram as Abhiram. 

 

God has created different brush to paint  all  us  with unique abilities which exists only in us & is not out there. So when is that we are going to explore & discover that uniqueness in us as usually no one will do that for us. It’s a lone walk.

 

Do not get only influenced but discover the real you in you.

 

Just as you are finding good in others find that good & the unique aspect in you & work tirelessly on it. As no one can do that for us than our own self as we are the only one who is living under our own skin. 

 

We daily go alone to bed with our own self.

 

Is all I had to say?”

 

Seeking excellence & perfection is common phenomena in a human society. Right from the time senses prevailed in the mind as a child & thereafter in the process of growing as an adult I have experienced that there is a silent chase for perfection by first identifying a successful role model as a standard, then compare as to where we are and then start the aspect of shedding & chiseling our imperfections, this whole process is indoctrinated in us by our parents, peers or the social system we live in.

 

The perfection is just an ideal mental construct, a utopia or a mere fiction & actually does not exist in reality. No one is PERFECT & IMPERFECT is alone BEAUTIFUL is the idea behind writing this article.

MY GOD IS IMPERFECT is inspired by taking a deep peep into NATURE which includes humans, every species & every object on this earth.

Let us test a hypothesis by taking a human or any object on this earth by cutting into two equal half. In order to understand better let’s take my own self as an example & extend this logic to every object existing on this earth.  After cutting into two equal half when we compare then we shall find that my right hand will not match with my left nor my legs, fingers, fingerprints, kidney, heart or any part of my body.

As I believe in GOD as my creator, in order to avoid controversies people can replace god with nature for convenience. I was now searching why two part of the same body is not alike. It is then I started introspecting whether its by chance or by design.  I found that its by his benevolence he sent a message that despite being your creator I am happy with my imperfection & it is more attributed to benevolence than being perfect.

It is then I understood the difference between HUMAN WORLD & NATURAL WORLD & the intention & their respective creators.

 

COSMIC/NATURAL WORLD created by GOD the IMPERFECT Vs. HUMAN WORLD created by HUMANS seeking PERFECTION

 

My God is imperfect as he is an ARTIST & not an ENGINEER. An artist is driven by only compassion & does not believe in creating duplicates. While an engineer philosophy foundation is based on cut, copy & paste leading to repeatability like assembly line, little difference from standards become rejects through quality control & goes to dustbin as scrap.

Human world on the other hand scale everything into a standard & rank the whole society on similarity than uniqueness. When a person does not fit to a given standard are termed as misfit & deviants & sometime find their way into mental asylum.

The difference between human world & natural world depends on the theory of abundance the natural world philosophy vests upon abundance in giving while, the human world philosophy vests upon abundance in taking. Natural world foundation is based on love, compassion & silence while human society vests on pillars of fear, greed & guilt.

Cosmic reality & natural world is a world of imperfections. The contradiction of the human world can be experienced, when humans become tired & alienated while living in human society, they enter the natural world to get back their life. The beauty & power of the natural world is so much that they return from the natural world not as humans but as nature itself. This is what learned men like Buddha & many seekers did.

Seeking happiness from the imperfect world is distant possibility. Searching peace by accepting imperfections in the eco-system we live in is in the vicinity of immediate possibility. In my opinion there is no one coming to rescue us from exploring our true self .Let us accept unquestionably that I am unique & so is everyone to gain eternal peace.

 

I became a civil servant in the year 1999 by passing out from 53^rd batch of IRS. After a decade I quit the service as Joint commissioner of Income-tax as I was feeling hollow inside despite the society felt it was an enviable job. I just went to Meenakshi temple in Madurai & chose a coin to stay in service or quit. The result was to leave the service & choose my new love the passion in cooking. I did what my spirit asked for but the quest was to find why I was feeling hollow despite reaching peak in my career.

 

Looking within I realised that I had a reached a state of depression of success. The desire to become a civil servant was not mine but my father’s desire. At this juncture I felt hollow not because as to what I achieved but I was not living my desire. It’s only when I realised that when I am in kitchen I dwelled with feeling that interacted with God’s it then I was not only happy, joyous & contended but I felt complete. Giving up what I didn’t relish & choosing my desire by aligning to what made me happy & made me complete as I gave up the human world of perfection & entering the natural world of imperfections.

 

Everyone has come to live their own life by choosing what they individually aspire to do which need not match to anybody’s expectation but what we all can aspire in common  is to become better version of ourselves every moment.

 

HARI RAO

20^TH MAY 2022